In case you haven’t figured out yet how much of a huge fucking dweeb I am I would like to recount to you the most recent badge I acquired.

So last month Shawn and I are in LA having a great time meeting the Jo Bro’s, driving in a Lexus drop top, and hitting the fabric district. It was the honeymoon we never, ever had.

On the day we are supposed to come home everything is going smoothly. We get to LAX like 2 hours before our flight, tasted Pinkberry for the first time (hello heaven!) and laughed and joked the whole time. But by the time we reached Charlotte, NC for our connecting flight we were completely burnt out and I think in the need of some distance between the two us.

On the plane we kind of start bickering back and forth over what? I honestly couldn’t tell you. But it was a tiny & cold plane so we basically just tried to ignore each other for the hour or so flight.

That day I wore this super cute strapless dress from Tart that I got from Ideeli or maybe Hautelook, or maybe even Gilt I don’t quite remember but you should click these links and buy stuff anyway (I get a nice kickback if you do) and of course this dress required me to wear an awfully uncomfortable strapless bra. So on the plane ride from LA to NC I decided to whip that little puppy off. I stuff it in the bottom of my big bag of fabric and told my husband to keep his eye on it.

Fighting, bickering, and picking on the flight home.

That’s what we did. When we land we start bickering again and in frustration I jump up as soon as we land to get off the plane. When I do I bang my head on the top of the plane and was so embarrassed and annoyed that I grabbed my bags and walked off.

Standing outside on the tarmac (some weird express plane that didn’t even pull up at the little accordion gate skywalk) I’m thinking “Oooo Shawn really burns my M-ther F-ing biscuits.” when he starts walking down the stairs I fix my attitude because I’m really not in the mood for round 110 that night.

But as soon as he reaches me I turn around to start walking into the airport and  I hear someone yelling “Hey! Hey! Your forgot something!”

When I hear this voice something tells me to just keep walking. But being nosy…I turn around.

Standing on the steps is the tall blonde-Matthew McConaughey-surfer type Dad who sat behind us.

And in his hands is my DD flesh colored strapless bra. A bra that has not been washed in a while and is so old it has those fabric balls on it, the boning is popping out of one side and a breast milk stain from my sisters wedding that won’t come out on the other.

In this mans hand is that bra.

When I see this I think “You have got to be fucking kidding me right?” but I don’t immediately do anything because right to my left is a Dad with his two teenage sons and they are looking right at me. I figured if I don’t respond it’ll just make this guy look like a crazy freak right?

But no.

My husband. The very one who should have been protecting this enormous bra saunters over to the man to collect it.

I just start walking inside and trying to laugh it off and I kind of start bitching my husband out .

The entire time I am like literally trying to run to make it to baggage claim so I don’t have to talk to anyone else. But I am immediately stopped when my husband says “Well, I saw it on the ground, but left it because I was mad at you”

I whip around and go “WHHHHH  AAAAAA TTTTTTT?!”

Do you know what he says to me? “Um, you’re embarrassing me. Please lower your voice?”

Again I shout “W HHHHHHH AAAAAA TTTTTT?! You purposely leave my gigantic bra on a plane and you want me to lower my fucking voice?”

I literally could have died. Seriously. I steamed for days after this.

But needless to say we leave on the 9th for LA and I WON’T be wearing a strapless bra this time.

Linked up at Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop.

Also linked up is yesterday’s vlog, my open letter to Paris Hilton.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 2nd, 2010 at 12:44 pm and is filed under embarrassing moment, link ups, Love & Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.