Protect them all, at all cost.
If you are participating in Gigi’s Back To School/Back to Blogging challenge than last week your homework was to choose a writing prompt from the idea bank and blog about it.
I picked a prompt about kids in big families getting enough love. Surprisingly most of you agreed with me.
But Gigi’s comment on this post started my brain churning about another issue.
Here was Gigi’s comment:
Great post. It’s interesting that mamaondago’s topic was one that got picked multiple times. I love the pictures of your family, BTW.
I don’t judge people with big families – i admire them. however, having worked as a prosecutor in the housing projects in Chicago, where I took abused and neglected kids away from their families, I do have a pretty strong slant on not supporting people having kids who don’t help themselves. I had one mom in my courtroom who just had her 13th (yes, 13th) child taken away from her because she was born drug addicted.
The mom said, “I will just keep having babies until the State lets me keep one.”
I kid you not. That? I’m not all for. 13 kids in foster care from one irresponsible parent. Ugh, I get angry just thinking about it!
Parents like this seriously make me want to drop kick them in the balls. I’ve never cried so much at the news as I do when I hear stories of children who have been abused, neglected or even murdered by their parents. It angers me and it makes me often think.
How do people like this become parents?!
How are there good and wonderfully couples out their who are desperate for children yet, LaTonya can pop out kids like she’s popping pimples?
How can we stop this cycle of bad people getting kids?
How about just some good old fashioned government influence. Why not make a mandatory questionnaire that has to be comepleted before a parent can leave the hospital?
1. What is a child’s purpose in life?
2. It’s past midnight and Baby X is still awake. You’ve tried feeding him, changing him and rocking him. The only other alternative is a dose of Dimetapp. How much should you give? (Clearly this is a trick question because…Benadryle is the proper response…)
3. Who’s more important? Your boyfriend or new baby?
4. True or False: It is ok to leave your baby for a few hours in their crib if you’re feeling stressed?
If the mother mentioned in Gigi’s comment had to take a survey with questions like the above with her first child than she would have probably never made it past the nurses station with a baby in her arms. Let alone 13 kids!
But than this leads me to another thought. Would it be fair to judge a new parent based on their answers when they clearly are new for a reason?
Is good parenting learned or does it come naturally?
This weekend we took Phoenix to the Great Frederick Fair and had the opportunity to see a baby calf being born. We missed the actual extraction from the cow vaj but were able to get close enough to see all the after (and yes this includes cow after birth! Hope you aren’t eating!). I was literally brought to tears as I watched this 2000 pound animal lick her baby until it was completely clean and get pretty fired up when it seemed people were getting too close to the new calf. How is it that this cow knows exactly after 5 minutes what it needs to do to take care of a baby? Really how do any of us know?
Maybe its both. Clearly I am not the worlds greatest parent and over the last two years I have been learning exactly what it means to be a good mom. Yet, the moment they laid Phoenix on my chest I knew the simple basics of ‘Protect him at all cost’
How can you not want to do that when you have a baby? How can you not want to give your very life for this tiny little being?
So do you agree that there should be some type of quiz before being sent home with your baby?
Twitter: madsbloggingmom
says:
I’m putting on armor before I say this:
I’m thinking of my sister. She has 3. None of them were planned. She doesn’t believe in birth control. I regularly ask her about milestones with the youngest and she doesn’t know. Sure she loves her kids and they are cared for but that youngest, she won’t know him. And she won’t know the next one. I know, b/c my mother had 6 children. Few of us speak to each other and 2 feel my mother doesnt know or understand them. They are lost children. And I know that if she had stopped at 3 or 4 kids, they would be retired now.
I’m rambling, but what do we do about the mothers who have children b/c their faith doesn’t allow for birth control?
I realize I’m not giving any answers but I should like to find some!
[Reply]
Alexandria
Twitter: alexcampbell11
Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Women who continue to have children for religious purposes (ala the duggars) don’t bother or offend me at all. but if they are having children that they do NOT want to care for i have a big issue with that.
If they struggle financially and have to have government assistance that actually doesn’t bother me much either as long as they are not relying solely on government help.
But its the parents that rely solely on the help of the government and who abuse children
yet continue to have them that bother me. Example would be the mother from the movie “precious”
Alexandria recently posted..Protect them all- at all cost
[Reply]
Twitter: www.dailywildflower.blogspot.com
says:
some hospitals (at least) do have a monitoring system in place for new mothers. My sister was “red flagged” when she gave birth several years ago. They kepy her and her precious baby a couple of extra days because a good samaritan staff member had witnessed or not witnessed (as the case may be in neglect)behavior that concerned them and they rightfully told someone. However, the hospital cannot keep a baby, they cannot remove a child from the custody of the mother. That is the job of children’s services. Children’s services across this nation is completely overwhelmed and over worked so they let my sister keep her baby (after all she wasn’t born drug addicted, she wasn’t hurting the baby) and sent them home. My neice was taken hostage by one of my sister’s “johns”, went three days without formula when my sister sold the formula provided by the goverment and many other horrible things before she was even 9 weeks old. My parents then lied to my sister and told her children’s services was on their way to take the baby, my sister finally used the bus ticket they provided and brought my neice to my parents. They have since adopted her.
My point is this – there is only so much the hospital and goverments can do. It is our responsibility as parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and citizens to do the RIGHT thing. To intervene, yes the mom might think we are a bitch but if she really does love her children then she will be grateful we were concerned enough to say or do something.
I paid my sister so she would go get “fixed” providing her with drug money wasn’t my goal, preventing her from putting another precious baby through that torture was my goal. I did what it took. We all need to get involved, goverment regulation will only lead to more stupidity. We have to be responsible and use common sense.
[Reply]
Questions before leaving the hospital ummm no first of the the first question you stated has no right or wrong answer. My kids will find their own purpose in life as the grow and learn.
I personally believe that if you get a child taken away and NOT returned the state should make you take parenting classes if you get pregnant agian, if you still can not be a good parent strillization should be forced upon you.
There are already too many unwanted children we do not need these asses having 10 kids that my tax money goes to supporting.
[Reply]
Alexandria
Twitter: alexcampbell11
Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
When I say I “child’s purpose” I don’t mean what they want to do in their life. I mean for those parents that do abuse & neglect their children
their answer would be something like “To clean my house. To take care of my kids. To buy me cigarettes”
[Reply]