Lazy Mom’s Guide To Medical Emergencies
And yesterday I wrote this (how many times can you say “this” in a post) and was so overwhelmed by how awesome all the responses I got back were. Thanks blog community I’ve struggled with telling this story and I’m glad I did. Seriously! Thank you to everyone who commented here, on Twitter, on my personal Facebook and even sent emails. It meant SO much to me.
But on a lighter note I’d like to share the crafter side of me and show you this great tutorial (when I say this word I always say “tootorial” I feel like such an idiot)
Phoenix is obsessed with being a dog. At random times during the day he’ll get on all 4′s and go “I a dog” this will happen, at home, at church, at Disney World, in airports, in restaurants. It doesn’t matter. When Phoenix is a dog you can only call him by “Dog” or “Copper” if not he’ll loudly exclaim “No! I a dog! No! I Copper!” and he’ll crawl around picking up things with his mouth and crawl back over to you. At which point you have to rub his head say “Aww thank you dog!”
Saturday night during his exciting dog adventures he banged his head on someones bed.
The knot was of epic egg size proportions. It was so bad I couldn’t even look at my own child!
But then the super-crafty mom that I am clicked in and I came up with this.
Lazy Mom Knot Holder
What you’ll need:
1 injured child (if you have more than one just double everything)
A knot the size of a small country
80′s style headband (you know the kind you only put on to wash your face?)
Small ziploc sandwich bag of ice with 2-3 pieces
Child’s dirty PJ shirt
1 lazy mother who is unwilling to hold ice pack on injured child’s head so she can do important things like play with her new NOOK
Step 1: Fawn all over the injured child and make sure he can recite his name, your name, his age (“3 in Augus”) and count to 10 (“1, 2, free, 4, 5, 6789, 10″). WARNING: If your child can’t do any of this throw on a bra and rush to the hospital. Just in case.
Step 2: Fill sandwich bag with ice. Close the bag (important step!).
Step 3: Take 80′s style headband and wrap around child’s head.
Step 4: Then take the dirty PJ shirt (Must be dirty. Softer that way) and wrap the ice bag inside and stick all of this under the headband and place over the knot.
Step 5: Spend the next 10 minutes listening to your child say “No, No. I not hurt. I ok” but bribe him with paci’s, Oreos, Thomas the Train or threaten bed and you should be fine.
And there you have it! A full-proof medical supply, strictly for us lazy moms. Let me know if this works for you.
And if you think I’m serious just read the tag this is under.