Another baby?
It all started with a cute little toddler sitting down on his green potty, underneath a big tree in the park.
“Look how cute he is”.
“I know. Phoenix I’m so proud of you for telling us you needed to go potty”
“We should have another one.”
I looked up & he looked like this.
Another baby is something that I certainly want. I’ve wanted another baby since I pushed the last one out of my ripped vagina {what to graphic for you?}. I loved the entire experience of pregnancy. Well {almost} everything. I hated the PUPPS. That I could have done without. But the burgeoning belly, the slight duck waddle. The kicks from the inside. I even loved labor. I didn’t love how I labored, but I loved the experience of it.
I want to be pregnant. I do.
It is an incredibly surreal moment one that no matter how hard you try you will never be able to accurately describe.
But another baby? Really? Another baby when my two-year old is creative enough to turn bullshit into bullhock. And fuck into huck just to get away with being a bad ass? Another baby when I am just hitting my stride of looking damn good in some clothes?
I really want another baby, but you know what else I want? A pair of wide leg jeans for the summer. If I get pregnant now would it really be wise to spend upwards of $100 on a pair of jeans I might only be able to wear for a little while?
Another baby means I might not have time to myself like I do now, which means my days of occupying a space on the world-wide web for hours while Phoenix plays with his sand table would be over.
Another baby would mean I might not have the luxury of sleeping in until 9 or getting up on Saturday to switch on cartoons for Phoenix so we can catch another hour {or two} of sleep.
Another baby means our carefully crafted existence of a spontaneous carefree three-some would be over. It would mean that Phoenix might not be able to just point at anything & get it, just because he’s our baby & gosh, he’s our only baby.
Another baby now would mean I might have to face the reality that I’d be doing it alone. Just Shawn & I & not with the help of my entire family like we had last time. Another baby would mean we’d have to make a decision soon about where we plan on living for the next year & a half. Another baby would mean either a prospering career slowing down or a disappointed extended family.
Another baby now would mean I wouldn’t have to unload my husbands walker at Kindergarten graduation.
Hmmm….that might just be reason enough.
Tags: babies, children, family planning, pregnancy, pregnant, toddlers
We’re just hoping to get pregnant with one! Like you, I still have my doubts when it comes to mommyhood.
I like the two-some that is my husband and I. The routine. The ability to come and go as we please. But then there are days where I feel like we’re not a complete family even though we have 2 cats and 1 rodent. I just have to remind myself “Someday”. We haven’t been married a year yet so even though hubs is pushing 44 and I’m 30, there’s still time.
Good luck to you in whatever you and your husband decide to do!
[Reply]
Alexandria Campbell
Twitter: alexcampbell11
Reply:
June 2nd, 2011 at 1:00 pm
@Kim @ Coffee Pot Chronicles, there certainly is still time. but i sympathize with you liking your two-some. we never got that because my husbands older son lived with us in the beginning & i wish we would have had time to ourselves. good luck with whenever you choose to add to your family!
[Reply]
Twitter: justbooks4kids
says:
I have many of the same thoughts and questions! Though I did not enjoy being pregnant (other than the baby kicks!)… I had PUPPS too among other issues.
[Reply]
Alexandria Campbell
Twitter: alexcampbell11
Reply:
June 2nd, 2011 at 1:03 pm
@Nichole, PUPPS was the worst part. It was complete torture. Hoping I don’t get it next go around.
[Reply]
Twitter: NorthOnHarper
says:
Wow… and here I was thinking that having baby number 1 meant a lot of questions/concerns!
Either way, I wish only great happiness for you!!!
[Reply]
Alexandria Campbell
Twitter: alexcampbell11
Reply:
June 2nd, 2011 at 1:04 pm
@Alexis of NorthOnHarper,
always questions & concerns, but sometimes you just have to jump! i know we won’t regret it so…..
[Reply]
Lol. All valid points to me. My son is 25 months. We were a little surprised when I found out I was pregnant with #2. But, it is a blessing.
Good luck!!
[Reply]