Surrendering before its final

I don’t know if you heard, but a fellow member of our community of {mom} bloggers lost her son a few weeks ago in one of the floods in Northern Virgina.

I first heard about Anna via Twitter & Jill at Scary Mommy on September 11th of all days. When I read about her story my heart immediately went out to her & I made my way over to her blog where I stumbled over my words in trying to leave her something she could hang on to. I don’t know if I did, but I hope that my comment along with the hundreds of others she has received has been able to touch her some way.

After I sat & prayed for her & even cried a little I wiped my tears & went about the rest of my day, the rest of my week. Anna & her son never far from my mind. But instead of my days being filled with funeral service arrangements & casseroles & somber hugs my days have been filled with broken toys, spilled spaghetti, grocery shopping , laundry & whining.

The blogosphere is no stranger to families who have suffered the loss of a child. In fact one of the very first blogs I ever read was about a mother who lost one of her triplets {Multiple Baby Pileup} I started reading that blog in December 2007 shortly after finding out I was pregnant with Phoenix.  And then of course we can’t forget Angie Smith & the story of her sweet Audrey Caroline. Another blog I started reading when I was pregnant with Phoenix {not a good idea}.

I know I only touched on two of the hundreds of tragic stories I’m sure are out there. They always seem to break my heart, move me, make me think a little longer & hold everyone I love a little closer.

But for some reason Anna & her family haunts my mind.

Maybe it’s because this accident happened not far from a place I once called home.

Maybe it’s because I think about how this very easily could have been my little sister who loves to play outside.

Maybe it’s because the family set up a fund for Jack & the bank they use is my bank.

I know that sounds stupid. A bank. But it’s small local bank, they only have two locations in Northern VA. The managers know me & my Dad by name. This could have been us.

All of this coming at the same time my 3 year old has discovered death & dying. And if you have ever had a 3 year old ask about death or pretend to be “dead” it can be scary, unnerving. 

He doesn’t yet know how final that word is. How it’s not just a game of him falling to the floor, announcing his death & having me pick up & move on. It’s final.

And unexpected.

Learning about Anna & her family has put me in a different mindset this month, not a fearful place, but a place of absolute surrender to a life that might not be here much longer so drink it in while I have it place.

It goes without saying that if you have a few moments I’m sure Anna would appreciate any kind words you have, prayer, thoughts, & maybe even a contribution to Jack’s fund. 

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3 Responses to “Surrendering before its final”

  1. I just read Anna’s story and of course cried. It certainly hits home to me. I think about all those times I let my kids play for too long while I got something done…something could have easily happened during that time. At the same time it also makes me realize how important it is to be aware of all our surroundings (neighborhood and otherwise). My heart and prayers go out to her.

    [Reply]

  2. Lisa Taylor says:

    Oh it’s so hard to hear of such awful things happening. One of the best things about blogging is making friends all over the world, I love it. More people to share joys and sorrows with. I’ll be praying for Anna and her family.

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  3. Alexis of NorthOnHarper
    Twitter: NorthOnHarper
    says:

    I will absolutely keep her in my prayers!

    The blogosphere is special in the way it can capture lifes ups and down…. and make even the most distant experiences extremely pesonal.

    [Reply]

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