Silver Lining Parenting

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I am only a little bit ashamed to say that the episode of Modern Family from last week where Lily drops the F bombs has happened in my own house a few gazillion times. It is completely my/our fault as we/I {but mostly me} cuss like Bible school students who have been more or less kicked out of a g<odly establishment, possibly because that is exactly what I am. I’m like an Amish kid on rumspringa

The first few times Phoenix dropped a few choice words I cringed, the other times I cringed & scolded him but secretly smiled when he used them all in the right context. That has to count for something right?

Maybe it has gotten a little out of control & he’s aching for his turn on Jersey Shore or Jerry Springer & maybe we really need to cut down on someone swearing, be it the child or the parent.

But for now I think I’m raising a little irreverent bad ass & that might be a good thing.

1. “Mommy drop your weapon & get on the floor!” – Clearly he’s destined for a role in law enforcement & that makes me beam with pride. Also there may or may not have been a time he told me he was going to shoot me in the head if I didn’t let him do something. But everyone has a lapse in judgment right?

2. Colorful language as described above- Do I really need to say it? This kids vocabulary will certainly having him score in the Harvard range on the SAT.

3 “Mommy I just don’t care what you say!” – He’s not a follower. So when your kid wants to hand him an ounce pound kilo of coke he ain’t going to take it.

4. Said in the most sarcastic tone “Whatever you say Mommy.”- He’s going to be a good husband don’t you think?

5. Lying. “It makes my baby happy if you clean up for me”- Do I smell a novelist?

6. “Mommy go to Maryland” obvs loosely translated means “Go to hell Mommy”- He has a love for geography & travel. 

7. Me: “Phoenix you are being a whiny baby” Phoenix “No you are!”- Fairness & equality for all. 

So the next time you want to kick yourself for some bad kid behavior, find that silver lining. It’s there people. It really is.

What is the worst behavior your kid displays that they picked up from you?

But all joking aside this kid has a serious case of empathy. Last night while his Dad was out of town & I came down with a case of the morning evening fuck me all day sickness he came into the bathroom started rubbing my back & said “I’m going to help you Mommy! I’m going to take care of your baby. Just bare down!” Through my barf colored hazed I melted.

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11 Responses to “Silver Lining Parenting”

  1. [...] could spend all day telling you many of the ways that I wouldn’t fall into a good mother category. Want another example of how I’m a good mother? Phoenix has told people to “Google his [...]

  2. [...] else can just sit untouched for days. I’ve already told you how I suck at cleaning & my parenting skillz make Snooki look like a good legal guardian for Phoenix so that leaves cooking…and I am a damn good cook. No Hamburger Helper or Hot Dogs & [...]

  3. [...] is probably one of the friendliest children you will ever meet. Yes, he may point a gun at me but he also rubs my back as I vomit so you take the good with the bad & there you have the facts of [...]

  4. Debbie Goldberg
    Twitter: MBMomBlogger
    says:

    I think if my child pretended to shoot me I’d seriously reevaluate my parenting skills. And then I’d send him to live with grandparents.

    [Reply]

  5. Amanda
    Twitter: OneSuburbanGirl
    says:

    I have a potty mouth but I’m not a parent. However my friends with kids all the kids know not to repeat the bad words aunt amanda says since there is no way I can filter my mouth if you don’t think about filtering it 99% of the time it’s like so hard to do it that 1% and the kids repeat after me but the funny stuff never the bad words. I have to say even my friends who curse around their kids the little ones 2-3 may say it but the parenting is what stops them.

    one family i know kids ran around cursing more then i did. they didn’t do anything to stop it and the kids just kept cursing but when my friends kid calls someone a “douche bag” at the tender age of 3 he’s immediately reprimanded because thats not an appropriate word for him to say since he’s not a grown up.

    I think its about the parenting. Kids will repeat it and learn it but its up to you to teach them when not to and why its not okay. I think if you’re doing that then you are fine ^.^

    [Reply]

  6. Alexis Grace
    Twitter: NorthOnHarper
    says:

    We just watched the Modern Family episode and couldn’t quit laughing…. kids say things because they can, because they are testing boundaries and figure things out—- so I wouldn’t worry about any of your concerns!

    [Reply]

  7. Jamie
    Twitter: jamiegall1930
    says:

    Oh wow, I screwed up that last comment. I had a “swear” jar growing up. Anytime I “swore” i had to pay a quarter. Boy, did I learn really quick to stop the behavior ;)

    [Reply]

  8. Jamie
    Twitter: jamiegall1930
    says:

    I’m laughing so hard right now… hahahah.

    I had a screw jar growing up. Anytime I let one out, I had to paid a quarter into the jar. Boy, did I learn to control it from there ;)

    [Reply]

  9. Holly
    Twitter: WomanTribune
    says:

    This was hilarious and refreshing to read. I actually like the more relaxed approach when it comes to kids swearing. By repeatedly telling a child of a particular, ‘I’m going to do the opposite of what you tell me to do no matter what’ age, the more you scold or tell a child not to do or say something, the more they are going to do it. By making certain language off-limits, you’re putting a spotlight on it and making it a big deal that gets a reaction.

    Thanks for the read!

    [Reply]

  10. Bibi says:

    Lol, love your interpretation….he sounds like a handful.

    I don’t know how, but my 9 year old is pretty near perfect.I can’t even think about any negative habits from me. On the other hand the teenager picked up my “I don’t give a crap attitude”, “temper at the wrong time” and his dad’s constant interrupting when others talk.

    [Reply]

  11. Jenn
    Twitter: librajenn
    says:

    Haha. Thanks for the “laugh out loud” moment of the day! :)

    [Reply]

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