The Three Duties of a Wife
Growing up we had a housekeeper. There would be a few months a year where my parents would be all “You kids need chores & responsibilities we’re firing the housekeeper!” this was always met with groans & the proper amount of eye rolling but the 8 of us always knew it wouldn’t last very long at all. When my parents got sick of yelling at us to do something they would re-instate Ms. Gertie & there she would be every morning shuffling around in her little slippers, calling me Alice & forgetting to put cheese in the lasagna.
By the time I left home to go to Bible school cleaning was not my strong suit. Listen. I’m not dirty, funky or in need of a hoarders intervention. Far from it. But I’m a procrastinator so if a bathroom should be cleaned once a week I might do it once every 3rd month.
When I arrived at Bible school I was assigned kitchen duty. Shudder. It was everything I hated. They had a room where you washed dishes in that was always hot & smelled of ranch dressing. I swear that if you popped any of my pimples oozing out of them would be Hidden Valley’s best. I wasn’t very good at mopping & always traded someone that duty & the pot washing required you to dip your hands in a hot vat of bleach & I despise bleach.
Along with kitchen duty came weekly room inspections. On the first inspection of the year I was required to clean our bathroom, which to me looked damn good. But my dorm monitor thought otherwise “Uh, Sister M. don’t get the wrong impression of me, but I’ve had a housekeeper most of my life. I don’t really do bathrooms.” that excuse didn’t really fly. But by the time I left Bible school. I did bathrooms.
If you fast forward to SAHW years and peek into our dingy apartment you’ll see me scrubbing down walls & toilets & even mopping what little moppable floor we had. A housekeeper wasn’t a luxury.
Since moving to California I’ve meant to hire a housekeeper, even interviewed one, but our place was & is so small I really felt like as much as I didn’t want to do it, I should because how hard is it to clean 2 bathrooms? I had every intention of hiring someone for realz this time though because duh I’m pregnant & I don’t know about anyone else but for me this means I give myself an automatic lazy pass. However, upon arriving at the new place on Thursday I found that because the community is for corporate folks they have a slew of amenities {like pregnant people massages} like…dun, dun, dun a cleaning & LAUNDRY service. Wha?! You mean someone else will actually wash & fold my clothes?
Obviously you know what I’m considering right?
But sometimes I have to fight the urge to feel guilty when I have a housekeeper & am considering a laundry service. But when Phoenix arrived & we brought on some help I adopted a principal that should help you if you choose to be just as lazy as me.
Three duties a wife/mother should focus on that don’t include sex because duh, that’s a given.
1. Housekeeping
2. Child rearing
3. Cooking
And as long as you do at least one of those really, really well everything else can just sit untouched for days. I’ve already told you how I suck at cleaning & my parenting skillz make Snooki look like a good legal guardian for Phoenix so that leaves cooking…and I am a damn good cook. No Hamburger Helper or Hot Dogs & Beans. Tuna casserole? Smash that roll people. I throws down & I have to because I ain’t cleaning.
To see some awesome stuff I cook check out my Facebook page. And also stop by every once in a while. I need people to talk to.
Of the three wifedom duties what do you excel at?
[...] Two boys. Is it a pretty fair guess now to say that since I don’t clean my house will always smell like [...]
[...] cardinal laundry law that I follow once in a blue moon is the color sorting rule. Because I am the laziest housekeeper you’ll ever meet my housekeeping is done the same way. If I feel a great sense of [...]
Uh oh! So your trying to say, that if a wife doesn’t know anything about housekeeping isn’t a good wife? Pity me..
Dawn0977 recently posted..The Significance Of Arowana In Feng Shui
[...] guess I should try to do all three wifely duties Thursday & maybe add a 4th duty as [...]
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Twitter: NorthOnHarper
says:
You kill me. Seriously kill me.
We have a housekeeper come ever second week. That just helps me to stay on top of things…. plus, I also cook (which is kind of a requirement as I don’t have kids!). But something tells me I should stop by your place for dinner……
Alexis Grace recently posted..Laili Lau F/W 2012
Nice post! But I would like to add another duty of a wife: Taking good care of your husband too! Preparing his clothes for work. And giving him a massage after work will be appreciated by your hubby.
PrudenceLee recently posted..Online Dating
Twitter: WomanTribune
says:
If only you lived close to me and we were best friends because I would totally wash and fold all of your laundry if you prepared me some meals that require nothing beyond heating it up. I can’t cook, but I can clean. Oh can I clean. Not only am I really good at cleaning (I would also like to give some credit to my OCD), but doing laundry, sweeping the floor, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, and so on, actually calms me down. If I’m really pissed off or in the middle of a verbal throw down with my partner, I’ll just randomly start doing housework and ten minutes later I’m just fine.
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Twitter: thatstoocute
says:
I’m good at all three!
That doesn’t mean I’m going to do all three. LOL
I try to focus on the whole child-rearing thing.
Trianna recently posted..Too Cute for Words
Twitter: jamiegall1930
says:
Well, as long as I get to choose which one of the three I’m good at during each given day I’ll be okay
But right now, the apartment’s a mess, dishes are afloat, and laundry’s strewn everywhere…. oh man, i’m slacking
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Twitter: alexcampbell11
says:
@elizabeth-flourishinprogress,
In that case you better put an ad on CL for any available rooms or else bust out some very naughty ling-er-aye.
Twitter: noshoppingliz
says:
Oh god, this is bad. I can’t do any of the 3 well. I can’t even do them half well. I may need to find a new place of residence soon.
elizabeth-flourishinprogress recently posted..Monday Dare: Six million ways to die
Twitter: n0ellee
says:
I suck at housekeeping… I’m like you, I don’t clean the bathroom often… only when I know we have friends coming home…
I would love to say that I excel at parenting but I can’t tell so soon…
I’m a good cook when I cook… (once every 2 or 3 weeks)
I’m a bad wife
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Twitter: pnpyaya
says:
every time I think about that lasagne fiasco I could cry, like seriously break down and sob….God Bless Ms. Gertie