Because wouldn’t you?

I’m not sure I can accurately put into words right now why I have been so social media MIA in the last several weeks & months. The obvious culprit is that I have a new baby & a 4 year old & that leaves me with little or no time to do anything let alone blog. But the fact of the matter is there are A LOT of people who have new babies and 4 year olds or two year olds or all three of those & manage to crank out some words. So bear with me as I try & crank out words to try & describe my state of emotions.

No one has died. No one has an illness. I haven’t been left single or left homeless. I just have been. I’ve been devoid of all my words, all my ideas, all my motivation. In its place has settled an exhausted & ever frazzled woman I don’t recognize. Every minute of every day I feel overwhelmed. If I’m doing one thing I feel like I should be doing the other.

I don’t want to be that a blogger that complains 24/7 about how hard my life is and act as if I’m the only woman to ever have two kids. I am a blessed woman. Even amongst the strewn toys, clothes, and toilet paper rolls I can look around and feel blessed that I get to be home with my babies even if it is in mess. I recognize that. I recognize that there are mothers that wish they had babies that could make mess and write on walls & almost drop their baby brother. I get it, I do.

Allow me just this small window of time to complain & use the most over used parenting phrase & say “This has been harder than I expected.” Let me say that I maybe a few times a month or day wish I could put on some running shoes & run away, live on a commune like Jennifer Aniston in Wanderlust & just forget about everything else here. Let me just say that I feel drained.

I just can’t seem to get it together. I can’t seem to figure out a schedule, manage my time better. Get my baby to sleep without props & sleep aids. Get him to take a bottle so I can get my hair colored without having to worry my Mom will show up with him so I can feed him. I can’t seem to figure out how to not yell at my son when he’s asking a million questions while I’m bouncing, nursing, cleaning, or D all of the above. I just can’t get it.

But I’m trying.

Duh.

 

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7 Responses to “Because wouldn’t you?”

  1. [...] Have you ever heard those words before? Especially from a woman who just wrote this post or is still getting up every 2 hours or has stepped on more tiny Transformers than one 4 year old [...]

  2. Jamie
    Twitter: jamiegall1930
    says:

    Let it out!! First, I’m thankful that you’re sharing how you’re feeling. In the social media world, it can be pretty eye opening how fast a person has a baby and how fast they get back into the swing of things… like it never happened ;) so it’s nice to see the human side that it is tough to have two small children, and as a mother, you want to be there for them, and take the time to care for them, as overwhelming and stressful as it is. I’ve heard having one is tough, but having two is pretty stressful. You’re doing good and complain all you want…

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  3. tina says:

    That’s all that matters your trying, which means your doing your best. We all struggle at some point, just hang in there, you will get through it love xx
    tina recently posted..How to Get Rid of a Sore Throat Fast

    [Reply]

  4. Not “can’t,” you just haven’t, YET. But you will. :)

    [Reply]

  5. Give yourself a break! We’re all trying to figure it out and messing up a little every day.
    Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..Wordless(ish) Wednesday: Big Sisters, Little Brothers

    [Reply]

  6. Alexis Grace
    Twitter: NorthOnHarper
    says:

    I confess: I have only one child and this has been harder than I expected. Life is challenging and exhausting. And this is even more true when a change occurs.

    I am just trying to enjoy the time with my daughter and not to stress about the other aspects….
    Alexis Grace recently posted..February 2012 Vogue Australia

    [Reply]

  7. gabbriel scott
    Twitter: pnpyaya
    says:

    All those things you “want” to do will still be there but those 2 little guys will slowly turn into little independent people that will slowly break away from you and will find solace and joy in every arena but yours. They will view you as a nuisance, an annoyance, a space taker upper…and all you merely want to do is sit, even quietly in their presence and watch them do life, as your passes you by, it wont matter….shove the clothes in the closet, throw the dishes in the dishes washer (and run it for the 3rd time), step carefully over the toys…and relish these moments, moments that seem like they will never, ever end, and surely not soon enough….BUT trust me they end faster then a blink of an eye and once they are gone…they are GONE…

    [Reply]

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