The Peter Pan Syndrome

I think a lot about what kind of mom I will be later on in the years of my children. Right now we have a very fun & friendly type relationship. Phoenix & I joke A LOT & have tons of inside jokes. He even knows what a nice masadge {1:55 mark} is & routinely ask if I’d like one. I like having this kind of relationship with him now. I know eventually, probably sooner than I’m ready for we’ll have to adjust it & I will hear more often “You are so mean!” or “I’m going to run away.” and his favorite insult as of late “You never let me do what I want to do!” Eventually I’ll have to buckle down.

But right now I enjoy my children immensely. They are my heart walking around on earth. The greatest song my husband ever wrote & I ever sang. And blah, blah, blah & more mushy stuff. But what will our relationship be like when they are no longer my little chickens? What about when they grow up & have families all their own? Just like with all milestones children reach the growing up & moving out of my home will happen much sooner than I think it will.

Soon I will not be battling for their attention against a Transformer movie, a neighborhood friend or {hopefully} a good book or two. No, I will battle with the jobs, the bills that need to be paid & the women they bring into their life. I won’t be number one. I won’t be the most specialist woman in their life. I don’t know if its the hormones that are still trying to level themselves out or just my general craziness but lately I have been making Phoenix promise me a lot that he will never, ever, ever leave me.

I fear that I will be that Mom that all we women fear. The overbearing MIL, the one who never thinks your cooking is quite right, the house never as orderly as it should be & someone who will never, ever, ever be good enough for her son. For the record my own MIL is not like this, but if she were I could see why! You spend years helping to cultivate who these little men are and in a blink of an eye they are gone & sometimes in the direst of cases you are forgotten. They move out of your own home & start making their own mark on the world. They don’t care about your ideas for paint choices or wood grains. Your ideas are old-fashioned, outdated, so 2013. Who really does Chevron & chalkboard anymore right? Maybe they are farther away & instead of hopping in your flying car to go across town you have to buy a $10,000 ticket for the teleporter and now you don’t see them as often.

Or maybe instead of being a monster-in-law I’ll turn my sons into those men we all fear. The basement dwelling, still gets his underwear folded, & eats Cheetos all day Momma’s boy we all hate to love. The boys that check in with their moms several times a day, the ones you can never seem to please. The ones that remind you that their Mother “never did it or cooked it like that.” I wonder if when those boys were two & three & four & five & six their mothers looked over to them and promised as I do often, that they could live with them forever & no one would ever, ever, ever love them the way I did. And then Lifetime called to make a movie out of it.

Have you ever sat down to think why Peter Pan decided to never, ever, grow up? I don’t think it was because he enjoyed playing with his trains & slingshots. I think it was because somewhere in Never Neverland was a mother who couldn’t bear the thought of losing her boy in 18 years so she made him make a promise that he chose to keep & he never, ever grew up.

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5 Responses to “The Peter Pan Syndrome”

  1. There’s a quote by Edith Roosevelt (wife of Teddy) – I can’t remember it correctly, something like “You don’t raise them to be lions and expect them to become doves”. (I prob have the “dove” bit wrong). But I often think of this when things my boys do plain freak me out! They were raised to be independent and strong – and now it’s often so hard to see them being so. Ya just want that little guy back :-(
    Lisa D.B. Taylor recently posted..School Stinks

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  2. Alexis Grace
    Twitter: NorthOnHarper
    says:

    I feel like crying after reading this…. I am not ready for all these thoughts! My daughter is only 3 1/2 months and I cry already about how fast she is growing up!
    Alexis Grace recently posted..Saint Laurent Fall 2013 Collection

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  3. Holly @ Woman Tribune
    Twitter: WomanTribune
    says:

    Every relationship changes over time, but I have to assume that the child/parent relationship is a particularly difficult one. I was a total Daddy’s girl growing up, then when I hit adolescence I kind of went insane and even left home at 17. Now as an adult in my mid-20s, I am back to being Daddy’s girl. Nothing happens in my life without my dad getting a phone call and hearing all about it. Our relationship has gone through various ups and downs, but we have always had a very close and often sarcastic relationship.
    Holly @ Woman Tribune recently posted..Celebrate International Women’s Day with LELO — Enter to Win a LELO Soraya

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  4. My oldest is turning 16 this month & I am having major anxiety about him starting to drive, looking at collages, spending weekends with friends …. yup, my little boy is gone.
    Bibi @ Bibi’s Culinary Journey recently posted..Healthy & Light Ricotta Egg Salad

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  5. Trianna
    Twitter: thatstoocute
    says:

    And that basically sums up where I’ve been with my son for the past, ohhhhh, almost 7 years.

    I feel like the older he gets the more I want to curl into a ball and die.
    Trianna recently posted..Spring Cleaning Your Closet

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