things i want to teach my sons about being a man


A few weeks ago I was up really late trolling my Feedly feed & came across this fantastic video that Rebecca of Girl’s Gone Child posted called Be A Man. Honestly. I am not a huge internet video person & when I realized it was almost 15 minutes long I was all “Can I just get the cliff notes?” But let me tell you. I am so glad I watched this!

I have been hurt by boys, I have been loved by boys, & I have had pine cones thrown at me by boys. When my boys are all grown up & I’m putting on a girdle and pearls, preparing myself for a rehearsal dinner I hope that the future wives of my boys can say to me upon my arrival “Thank you for raising such a wonderful son. He’s so gentle & kind with me.” I never want your little girl to sit on the edge of her bed crying because my son hurt or disappointed her. And if for some reason he does end up making her cry I want her tears to move my son to change, be better, learn, listen or shut up.

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There is that beautiful song by John Mayer crooning to the fathers of the world to treat their daughter well. Reminding us that boys are tougher, stronger, breakable…but are they really? If we raise boys thinking we can break them we have a generation of broken boys going out and breaking everything in sight. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with society now. It’s easy to forget that boys are made of all the same things inside as the pretty girl in the petticoat {I don’t have girls. Do they still wear petticoats?} when they’ve got a weeks worth of dinners & dirt on their person. A skinned knee is proudly shown off, scars counted & collected like they are a part of a stamp collection. But that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt.

I remember a few weeks ago I was watching a movie that ended with the father sobbing. Phoenix looked up & said “What! Mens don’t cry!” it was words I was hoping never to hear from him, but he said them. “They do cry. Daddy cries. Daddy cried when you were born. And Daddy would cry if he ever lost you.” “Yeah, well mens don’t & Daddy doesn’t” I left it at that & let him finish running away from Krypton or to Krypton, whatever. I’m too tired to remember. But he marked me. And it was just a few days later that I watched that video.

The importance of emotions. The importance of kindness, graciousness, thoughtfulness, loving. All the markers for a true man. That is what I want to teach my sons.

 PicMonkey Collage


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One Response to “things i want to teach my sons about being a man”

  1. K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommy
    Twitter: yummommies

    I feel the same way about raising my son. I look at how my husband was raised and it breaks my heart that both his parents failed him. It has taken us years to break down certain walls and for him to change some of his habits. But the one thing that we both agree on is that we want to really raise our son to be a gentleman. I’m talking respect, honesty, integrity, determination, the whole nine.

    I’m not down with that mentality that we have to raise our boys to be hard. I don’t want my son going through life out of touch with emotions and not knowing how to handle to them. Even more important, I don’t want him growing up being insensitive to others.
    K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommy recently posted..Thankful Thursday


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