Right now it’s 11 PM on Sunday night and instead of sleeping for another hour before Caspian wakes up I am sitting here watching Glee {Poor Mr. Shue} and waiting on my husband to make an appearance sometime within the next hour if I’m lucky, but if I’m honest three. I thought that instead of whining for an entire post about how hard having two kids is I’d shake things up & tell you why sometimes things are hard with two kids & tell you what it’s like having a husband who works 9,000 hours a week.

If you are a new reader or long time reader with a bad memory let me rehash for you what it is that keeps my husband away for 9 million days a week. Shawn works in the music industry as a music producer/A&R {the person that picks songs for an album}/artist development {see him & him}/studio owner/jack-of-all music trades. He spends most of his time in the studio which can have him away from sun up until sun down. If he’s not in the studio he’s on set at a music video or photo shoot, meeting with brands or record labels or at his favorite Kitchen 24.

When Shawn & I first met he was trying to revive his career & for the first three years he wasn’t working for himself. His hours were regulated by a corporate office at the radio station or car dealership or the funeral home. But while my husband was supposed to be selling caskets he was browsing YouTube & found him & the rest is California history. Our lives suddenly became not our own, we weren’t working for the man anymore & no longer had to worry about how much pay we would lose if he called in sick or took a personal day. Now we were suddenly faced with going back & forth between LA & Maryland.

Over the last three years my husband has only gotten busier, which for obvious reason is very, very good. It beats burying dead people for sure, but now he’s gone a lot. For the sake of being completely honest it has put a strain on our marriage. We fight & yes, we fight a lot about his work hours versus the time he spends at home. In fact up until last week, for the last almost 45 days he hasn’t been home for longer than three hours for more than a day. When we first got to California this was incredibly difficult. Here I was in a brand new city 3,000 miles away from my family & my husband was gone all the time. Now that I have my family here the days & nights pass quicker. I spend a lot of time with my Mom & sisters the nights that he’s gone. We eat dinner there, we do homework there, and sometimes even baths get done at their place just so I can get some extra hands. But I still come home to an empty house & go to bed with the covers still pulled up on one side.

I’m not saying “Listen I’m not complaining” because I do and I am. I complain a lot about this. I cry, I negotiate, I compromise rinse & repeat but, I AM saying “Listen I’m not complaining” because this is what we prayed for, for years. These opportunities, this security, this respect & we he has it now & we have to make it work for us.

Inspiration struck me this afternoon for a post while in the grocery store with my husband trying to figure out dinner-which was super delicious in theory but turned into a mushy mess. Ugh.

But I just had a huge fight with my husband & right now I am steaming mad. Like steaming & I can’t even think straight to write a decent post. PLUS the post I was going to write was about my husband & I’m not feeling really lovely towards him now.

And the worse part is I wish I could blog about what this particular fight because I’m 90% certain that there is a bunch of you who can relate & maybe even pass on some words of wisdom. But I can’t…why? Because I’m the stupid person who decided to inform all my family that I have a blog so they can read everything & that may not be a great idea since some of it may involve them. See I’ve said too much already I must not continue…

But if you insist. Tell me what you do not to make up with your husband because really I can’t explain to you how far that thought is from my mind, but tell me what YOU do to get back to your center. You know the place. The place that isn’t the place where you are still mumbling under your breath & maybe kicking his shoes on purpose or wanting to stab him in the leg with your overgrown toenails while you sleep.

Ugh.

 Maybe I should start an anonymous blog don’t worry I’ll post the link once it’s up. 

I’m going to go eat a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich because irony is therapy. 

Me: Phoenix why is there brownie on my wall?

Phoenix: I wanted to paint it brown like Daddy’s hat

Me: Shawn why did you buy so much pasta?

Shawn: I wanted to make sure there was enough.

Me: These are 2 lb boxes each. We are feeding 4 of us. 

…and there is no doubt they are the same. 

In case you forgot there’s a giveaway that’s going on. Make sure to enter.

Sometimes in life you meet a person who will make you laugh, cry, & dance with glee. Make you feel centered & brave. Make your toes curl. Make you dream, scream, & make you feel like you’re part of a team. Make you a mother. Make you a wife. And make you crazy all in the same life.

This is my husband Shawn. And he is that guy for me. And today is his birthday. With all that goes on in life there are moments that go by that I forgot to adequately express how great of a guy he is.

But I never forget the hair holding during the morning sickness. The foot rubs, the pillow talks, the Scrabble games, our own private book club meetings, our inside jokes. The whispered “I love you’s” as we fall to sleep. The feeling of being snuggled in bed just the two three of us.

He’s a fantastic father with a heart of gold and a wallet full of green…what more could you ask for right? He makes me feel safe, loved, & valued.

In all the beauty that is us there are still parts of us that are ugly and that we are working very hard to erase. But I could still never imagine erasing those parts with anyone else but him.

Happy Birthday to the best person I could ever ask for. I love you!

To read more about the awesome guy above click here & here

Most of the time my sister Ari takes my pictures for my outfit post. I am still trying to figure out how to take a decent photo for this (as I’m sure you can tell) and I do a lot of silly stuff so I don’t have Shawn do it because believe it or not after 4 years together, peeing in front of him, being sick in front of him and delivering a kid in front of him and I still get shy around him.

But since we’ve been in LA (and I actually get to get dressed more than once a week) I have a lot of outfit shots I want to do and he’s the only one available.

He is still getting the concept of what an outfit post is supposed to be as I’m sure you can tell from the Santa Monica/Ocean Avenue one.

But Monday when I had him do my Pink Camo Berry shoot he was all into it and was like “Put one arm up” so I did and I looked like this:

So than I decided he need to do his own photo shoot and here’s what he walked away with.

Canvas Fedora Hat from Target

Pink screen print t-shirt from Express (clearly his favorite because when I look back in pictures he always has it on)

Dark Wash Skinny Jeans from Old Navy

Navy Blue Saucony Bullet Sneaker

Ed Hardy Belt

Hope you enjoyed! He’s so cute though huh?