How do you like the new digs? A new blog design has been so so so so long coming. My last one, let us just be honest was really bad. I hated looking at every time I would log on. I also hated the weird way it would format the post & pictures. It was all kinds of bad & annoying. But thanks to the talented Sarah at One Starry Night I have gotten a much needed overhaul. Besides the new look the other new addition is the Best Of page. If you are a new reader or sporadic reader this might be a good place for you to check out.

The reasons things have been so quiet lately have been major acts of God. First was me getting sick. I thought I might have had a breast infection a few weeks ago. I had a fever, chills, & extreme body aches but after piling on 10 covers one night I woke up feeling really good, unfortunately because I was really looking forward to having Shawn take over for the day & lay in bed. But Mother’s Day is around the corner…

After getting over that, last Sunday morning my 20 year old brother had a motorcycle accident on his way to lifeguard training. He broke some fingers & got a huge gash in his knee that required surgery for both and we are hoping that he will regain full use of his hand. It has been a really tough week because yes, he survived but none of us could stop thinking about how he almost didn’t. He was hit by a cab & went flying in the air. The thing that shook me the most was hearing him say that as he was being hit he said to himself “this is it.” I couldn’t stop thinking about how scared he must have been & how he was all alone. We are incredibly, incredibly grateful that he is alive & instead of going to appointments at a funeral home we have the honor of being able to take him to the doctors. And to top the week off on Thursday a teenager brought a gun to my sister’s high school & the school was on lockdown for 5 hours. Luckily she wasn’t there, but OMG close calls for us all around. 

That was Sunday; on Tuesday Shawn & I had a really busy day dealing with business stuff when we noticed a bad rash spreading all across Caspian’s neck & head. The night before he kept waking up scratching at his head but I didn’t put two & two together until late in the afternoon when we were in the sunlight and I noticed he was digging in to his skin. Luckily we only spent an hour in urgent care, but because he was so uncomfortable he had trouble sleeping for the next couple of nights.

Throw in regular everyday stress (but up the pressure) and you have my last few weeks. Things have been just incredibly emotional & a couple of “Why Me’s”. But you know what they say. If Britney Spears can survive 2007 I can survive anything. 

Wishing you the very best this Christmas! xoxo

If I could give a new mother one piece of advice it would be this “Find your people.” I know not everyone is as lucky as I am to have a family that not only is so willing to help but also happens to be so close.

When Phoenix was 2 my village started to form. Shawn & I were faced with our landlord selling our house & the possible need to move to LA. We decided that the best thing to do was to move in with my family so that Shawn could go back & forth & not have to worry that Phoenix & I were alone. We lived with my parents for a year & a half before we made the very hard decision to leave & come here to California.

During that time we lived with my family we had an enormous amount of help & when we came to California we lost all of that. The first few weeks we were caught up in all of the newness of California & homesickness didn’t set in until my Mom & sisters came to visit. We spent several weeks of the summer hanging out laughing & painting our nails until we bleed Essie lacquer. When my Mom & younger sister left (the other two staying behind to try school out) my heart went with them.

At the end of October we got a call from my family telling us they were coming to California for good. I was elated. I was happy that I finally would be back with my family because I missed them terribly. But it wasn’t until I hit my second trimester that I realized how glad I was to have my family literally around the corner from me.

When we moved in with my family in Maryland my Dad cautioned us that it wouldn’t be easy us blending our two families & he was right. It wasn’t always Monopoly games & loud laughing. There were plenty of times that we got on each other’s nerves. We were close & sometimes that closeness got annoying. Sometimes I wanted to just shut away with the three of us & I’m sure my family wanted to walk around the house without falling on trains & Legos or even having to listen to Shawn & I fight for the hundredth time about picking up the towels.

It would have been easy many times to throw in the towel, yes, even with my family because we have been through the ringer the last 6 years believe me! But it has always been important to me that my children have what I didn’t grow up with, closeness to a large extended family. It hasn’t been easy, and we haven’t always agreed but I certainly could not have made it through a pregnancy with a preschooler & a husband who works constantly without my family, without my village. 

my family minus 3

It’s situations like these that the three-time Grammy® award-winning gospel duo Erica and Tina Campbell face in Season 2 of WE tv’s hit series Mary Mary as they balance being recording artists, mothers, and wives. MARY MARY premieres Thursday, December 6 at 10|9c and moves to its regular timeslot on Thursdays at 9|8c, beginning December 13. Watch a sneak peek here!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of WE tv. The opinions and text are all mine.

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I was really excited when I was chosen to be apart of the sendCheer program with Collective Bias. I was a military kid & know first hand what that means. But I decided that the best person to share some stories about being a military family would be my Mom. 

Hi Mom!

Military just the word fills me with pride. My elementary school boyfriend who has become my husband of 26 years served in the United States Navy for 10 years. While in the Navy he served aboard the USS J.F. Kennedy aircraft carrier during Desert Storm/ Desert Shield. That was our first and longest deployment, 8.5 months. With family being 4hrs. away, I was alone with 2 little girls for 8 months and missing my husband more then ever. During his deployment I gave birth to our first son. I did my very best to keep that 9 pound baby boy inside so that my husband could be there with me.

When a military wife gives birth during a deployment, the perks are huge. The husbands who have new babies are the first to exit the ship and with over 5,000 men on board this was, like hitting the lottery. As the boat pulls in the crowd is screaming and the butterflies are fluttering, I have to admit even the tears are flowing. It’s so surreal, the months and months of hardship, struggles and even the moments of anger have all vanished as the boat pulls into the slip. This homecoming was special for not just us but the entire country. News crew from every major network was there that day. The “new baby tent” was not full maybe 35-40 women and babies. The reporters were mingling among the crowds, smiling and asking questions. I sat in a corner and nursed my almost 9 month old baby boy, whispering in his ear that the man whose voice he had heard every night since the day he was born was finally going to get to hold him and to see for himself just how amazing his first son and namesake really was. A reporter from our local TV station and one from the CNN both approached me after discovering that my son as the oldest baby there, born at the beginning of the deployment. They had many questions even asking my little girls their opinion on the situation and the impending home coming. Before long the sound of the horn bellowed signaling the boat was ready to unload its precious cargo, my husband and children’s father.

Being a young military wife and mother, has so deepened my compassion for military wives. After my husbands return I became very involved with military community. Not with the established family with the incredible support system but with the young girl/ woman that is trying to find their footing. The young mom who needs to find a babysitter as she goes to doctors appointments and just to the commissary. This was very important to me and my family because I know the difficulty along with the relief when some one stepped into to help me while my husband was away.

I am very excited to hear that Cheerios is working with the USO in an initiative called sendCheer. In your locale grocery store you can find special marked Cheerio boxes with a pre-addressed post card that you can use to send to a military family. Military families spend a lot time apart & speaking from experience it was always nice to hear encouraging words from people. 

This post has been compensated as part of a sponsored charitable opportunity for Collective Bias. But all opinions & stories are my own. 

On Thursday I started writing this post in my head.

And today the words seem to no longer be there.

You see my Mom {along with 3 of my sisters} came out to California in July & My Mom & younger sister flew home on Friday.

Putting an end to Phase 10 marathons, deep conditioning & Lifetime movies. 

Granted two of my sisters stayed & they are going to be attending school here for a semester. Maybe longer if it goes well.

But my Mom left.

My Mom who made me realize I’m a lot more neurotic & insecure then I thought I was.

My Mom who did not side with Shawn when she heard us arguing a few times & in retrospect taught me a lot more about myself when she did not side with me.

My Mom who held down the fort when I was at BlogHer

Helped me do the Pre-School tour dance.

And kept me from going insane on the days Phoenix was in a “Who can whine louder then me” competition with himself.

I hadn’t seen my Mom since April when we got into that cab that smelled suspiciously of a rotting body & boarded a plane headed West.

It was fun waking up everyday shooting the shit, laughing until our sides hurt, & yelling at the TV.

Until we can see each other again, I’ll miss my Mom. 

via Pinterest