It’s a trip, an offer, a special surprise that I am sure every mother ends up regretting afterwards.

The Toys R Us trip.

We have done a good job of having Phoenix conditioned to think he’s entitled to a special treat whenever we leave for a date or we go into any kind of store. It could be because he’s the only one & you tend to spoil & over compensate for a sibling. Or it could be because I just can’t resist buying something. Anything. I must leave with a bag. Not such a good habit, but my closet isn’t complaining.

It had been about 2 weeks since Phoenix had received a special treat of any kind. The last one was a $80 Melissa & Doug shopping cart that he promptly lost interest in 30 minutes after I assembled it & started asking where the trampoline was. Clearly a dumb buy.

So Friday after running into Sarah Michelle Gellar & resisting the urge not to follow her home to sneak peaks at my teenage crush I offered to take Phoenix to Toys R Us to pick out a pirate ship {courtesy of his new Jake & the Neverland Pirates obsession. And all day yesterday he referred to me as Capn’ Hook & he was Mr. Smee}.

“Phoenix we are going to Toys R Us for a pirate ship ok? Only a pirate ship. Nothing else”

“Yes!! Yes Mommy! A Jake & Neverland ship!”

After fighting my way through LA traffic & pulling into the tiniest TRU ever we walked into childs Mecca.

His little breath caught into his throat while he paused at the doors “Toys R Us” he said breathlessly.

And off we went painstakingly slow down every single aisle looking for a ship.

“Not one here, not one anywhere”

I ended up finding two ships but they weren’t quite Jake inspired {according to Phoenix} so we turned our attention to the Toy Story section & the most obsolete Rex toy ever. I tried turning on my motherly persuasion charms to get him interested in something that would actually keep his attention long enough for me to wrangle the damn toy out of the security death tape,but he was having known of it.

We started heading towards the register where he noticed the GeoTrax section.

Phoenix has an extreme obsession with all things trains {specifically Thomas the Tank Engine}. The GeoTrax he had his eyes on were the Christmas track ($100) and the Toy Story track ($80).

“Phoenix we are not getting that today.”

“But I want it!”

His voiced reached another octave & I knew it was coming. I tried unsuccessfully to turn his attention to the less expensive GeoTrax collection but he didn’t seem to care. I’ve parented a strong-willed child long enough to know that sometimes it’s easier to just let them whine then to try & insert myself into the equation & frustrate him even more by trying to pick him, carry him out, or reason with him. This only set’s him off more & he ends looking like he should audition for a role in the exorcist.

I see that familiar rebellious twinkle come into his eye & I scoot myself to the other side of the aisle. He started off slow at first crying, begging, & I continued with my calm & practiced “No”. I knew people could hear but I’m sure TRU is use to this type of display of um, emotions.

But then he promptly threw himself on the floor, went up into his falsetto & his face turned beet red. It was then I noticed that more & more people had turned their attention to us. I remembered when my little thespian was just a tiny infant in the Moby Wrap & I thought to myself “That woman needs to take control. Never will my son act like that in public” as a throw down between parent & child took place in front of me

So I scooped him up & calmly headed for the door….all the while remembering these words.

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:37

For Toys R Us was my judgment day.

Yeah I totally knew that whole scripture. I went to Bible School & all remember?

PS. Want to see some ridiculous cuteness? And Sarah Michelle Gellar?

I’ll fold the pajames a little bit slower tonight.

I’ll linger a little bit longer while I hug you good night.

I’ll answer a little bit more when you call out for me.

I’ll listen as you spin your tales a little bit more intensely.

I’ll walk a little bit more slowly through the park as you look at the ducks.

I’ll clean a little bit faster to sit & read you one more book.

I’ll close my computer a little bit sooner to blow a few more bubbles.

I’ll laugh a little bit louder at your jokes.

I’ll climb the steps a little bit slower just to hold your hand a few second more before tucking you in.

I’ll let me cuddles with you be a little bit tighter while watching your favorite movie.

I’ll make a little bit more growls as we play zoo.

I’ll sing your favorite song a little bit longer.

I’ll exercise a little bit more patience with you.

I’ll allow myself to wonder a little but farther about who you’ll be.

I’ll remind myself a little but more what your little voice sounds like.

I’ll wake up a little bit earlier to make you a special breakfast.

I’ll lower my voice a little bit when you step out of line.

I’ll remember a little bit more how you smelled as an infant

I’ll pick up your toys a little bit slower after you go to bed.

Because one day I’ll wonder why I didn’t take just a little bit more time for you & it’ll be to late because you’ll be off making a little bit of your own memories.

I spent more time then I should have yesterday watching the last two Twilight movies {New Moon & Eclipse} and did not do any writing. But I did really, really, really enjoy the Twilight movies. I’m not going to be reading the books or becoming a Twi-hard or anything, but I enjoyed them nonetheless.

And for the record? Bella does not love the dog. She’s just saying she does because he helped her out when that weird blood sucker went missing. She’s mistaking her gratefulness with love.

So since I didn’t write anything I decided to leave you with a vlog of sorts courtesy of Mr. Phoenix Campbell Tyrone Littleton Choo Choo Train {what he calls himself}.

It’s a 11 minutes long. Yes. Long. But well worth it because he’s hilarious. Enjoy this little peak into what a day with Phoenix is like.

Oh & in case you don’t keep up with my Tumblr make sure you go there today to see some other really, really cute pictures.

Today’s all about Phoenix.

But shh. Don’t tell him I said that. He’ll expect to go to “his special Toys R Us Thomas surprise”

Dear Mommy-

It’s me Phoenix here. I know that Mothers Day is coming up soon (guess I better make sure Dad’s on top of everything huh?) so I figured now would be great time to tell you what I think about you.

I know you really enjoy being a mom. Often I hear you say things like “Jesus”. I guess that raising a kid as spectacular as me sometimes leaves you speechless & all you can do is utter that one simple name of gratitude.

And you have such a great sense of humor. Sometimes I  say “I pooped” and of course I really didn’t. But my goal is just to see how many times you’ll come up & check my underwear. It’s hilarious! Who knew poop fascinated you so much? Then of course after about an hour or two I’ve forgotten its a joke & I’ve pooped. But by then you don’t think its so funny anymore. And I have to admit. I don’t either.

You’re really good at promptly coming when I call. Thanks.

I do have a few complaints though. When I ask to read Thomas & The Naughty Diesel for the 5th time in a row please do it with a smile & don’t forget all the voices. Otherwise you’re just wasting my time.

Please refrain from constantly calling my name in public. I know you think I didn’t hear you, but I did. I’m just not done playing yet. So rest your voice. It’d be a terrible thing for you to loose it.

The boogers that are in my nose are there for a reason. Leave them alone. If I want them out I’ll do it myself.

Its a perfectly reasonable request to ask you to move the sun when its in my eyes. Why do you act so shocked when I ask?

And when I tell you “No!” why do you always say “What did you say?” Last time I checked I didn’t stutter.

And If I’m being quiet & you can’t find me in the house, don’t seek me out. There’s a reason for that. And let’s be honest you don’t really want to bother with whatever I’m doing right then do you? When I’m ready for you to clean up my mess I’ll come find you.

I know I’m not going to clean up the toys. You know I’m not going to clean up the toys. Let’s just stop the charade ok?

But all in all I have to say you’re doing a pretty decent job. Keep it up champ

Love always-

Phoenix Thomas the Train Tyrone Littleton Campbell

P.S. Don’t try to blame your exhaustion on me today. You should have gone to sleep & not watched some white people get married.

Since the last time I wrote about my trails of being a “new” mother I have still been sitting here waiting for 3 o’clock to arrive.

Surprise.

It has.

But surprise.

With it does not come two lovely teenage sisters ready to entertain & play with Phoenix.

He’s like this never-ending tornado. It just spins & spins, picking up everything in its path & dropping it on its head. And as soon as you sober up enough to pick up the pieces the damn tornado is at it again.

Are you kidding me I need to vacuum again?

You purposely just emptied the basket of books I cleaned up literally mere moments ago?

You dribble chocolate on the clean duvet cover I just put back on your bed not even an hour ago?

You use my sofa as your personal trampoline? Why not. Knock yourself out kid.

It’s not like I didn’t know this before coming to California. I certainly had my share of run ins with Tornado Thomas but somehow that nice evening break when the house was filled with 6 or 8 other people was exactly what I needed to get back up & do it again. Plus there are so many rooms for him to run in & out of at my parents house.

Here. Not so much.

The…“Mommy! Mommy! Hey MOMMMMMMMMY!”

I don’t like to be touched. Like ever. And particularly don’t like when people do any type of annoying tapping of my shoulder or gabbing of my arm to get my attention. I literally want to saw the person’s hand off with a switch blade.

But I can’t really do that to a two year old can I?

“But officer. You don’t understand. I don’t like the tapping!”

Gosh. I love him. How could I not love this. (A credit card to buy a sailboat for your birthday? Why certainly.)

But along with trying to get on West Coast sleep time, find our new “rhythm” as a family, there is now this whole “You are in charge of your 2 year old & you don’t ever get a break not ever” thing to deal with.

Is it time to go back to Maryland yet?

We start karate today. This could be good or it could be very bad.

Do you follow me on Twitter yet or on Facebook? Well you should….

P.S. Who’s watching the royal nuptials? ::::ME!!!!!!!!::::

P.P.S I didn’t separate this post into two thoughts because I thought it was particularly riveting or anything. I did it because I ran out of time. There were more books to clean up.