The alarm goes off & its 8 AM. Usually I dread this hour-truthfully I dread any hour that requires me to stop sleeping. Did you know sleeping was amazing? Well it is.

This morning I’m not dreading 8 AM. It’s Thursday & that means from the hours of 9:45 until 3:45 my condo is minus Jake & The Never Land Pirates theme song, less the Thomas the train stories & every sound that accompanies a 3 year old. Instead you hear Whoopi Goldberg & Elizabeth Hasselback. The 11 o’clock news, Oprah’s life class & General Hospital. It’s quite nice.

This Thursday I pull myself out of bed & start to throw on clothes that make me look like I’m headed to some kind of Pilates class even though my body doesn’t show that.

Phoenix is in his athletic wear brushing his teeth when he looks up & says.

“Mommy make sure you wear a bra”

I’m taken aback a little bit. Why would he remind me to do that? I wear one every day that I leave the house. Was he just concerned that this morning I might stray from my usually routine?

“I am going to wear a bra.”

“Well I want a bra too.”

“You don’t need a bra. Bras are for girls. You put boobs in them & you don’t have boobs.”

“Well I have nipples & I want a Thomas bra.”

“Boys don’t wear bras Phoenix. Daddy doesn’t wear one, you don’t need one.”

“But kids loooove Thomas bras”

So since the new parental movement is parenting without gender boundaries…anyone know where I can get a Thomas the Tank training bra?

 As an un-parent it is essential to look for those small moments in our children’s lives to further develop the idea of “self independence” and to teach them to think beyond what society has deemed as the “norm”. Here is a great video for teaching your children how to clean. I go beyond the worlds stereotypical, boxed in, & outdated methods. 

I’m sure you have been hearing a lot about that new book “Go the F–k to Sleep” well now you can download the audio version with Samuel L. Jackson as the narrator it.

This is the perfect book to add to the Un-Parent’s bookshelf.

But here’s the catch. This book needs to actually be read to your child in order for it to count as an Un-Parent practice.

See that little brown button? If you feel so compelled could you vote for me there? And also at ITPR? just click vote & an email will pop up. Hit send.

1. {Almost} bad apple

2. Kitchen Table

3. {Clean} kitchen sponge

4. Cup of spilled Pepsi Max

5. Bag of Captain Crunch Berries.

For more on this progressive parenting method please click here.

If you have a spare minute {which if you are practicing un-parenting you should} could you please vote for me over at In The Powder Room? I am a finalist to be one of their bloggers & to win a cool camera {hello vlogging}. Just click “vote now” & an email program {or client} will come up & hit send.

It seems like daily you read more articles about these so called “progressive” parents practicing some type of free to be you & me parenting techniques. The elimination training, the un-schooling, our own Blossom who sees no need to teach her kids to say please & thank you. And my most recent find. The Genderless Baby Family.

I thought about writing about Baby Storm & ITS parents today, but realized all my thoughts basically line up with the same thing I shouted about trans-gender children. In a nutshell I just don’t get it.

But then I started thinking & thought that these parents might be on to something. It seems to me that the general theory behind all of these “practices” is that they don’t want their children to feel boxed in by society & societies rules. So I have decided to adopt the same theory.

Here are a few examples of things I would do differently.

1. First & foremost I will not have to wait for Hangover 2 to reach the Redbox. Instead I have decided that Phoenix needs to be exposed to the world in all its forms. Some people in our world break the douche meter & get so wasted that they tattoo their face. And why shouldn’t Phoenix know about this now? On one hand he could be so enthralled by the entire movie that we will have to pull him from karate & put him into a preschool program at Promises which might be good because then we’d get this phase of his life over with or we’ll scare him silly & he’ll want to enroll in Monastery.

2. I will stop paying a babysitter all together. Just because you’re 2.5 year old can’t stay home alone doesn’t mean mine can’t. If we continue down the path we are on we’ll all raise a bunch of kids who expect someone to tuck them in every night. But real life at so Junior.

3. I would allow him to watch even more tv then he already does. But the key to this would be. I wouldn’t feel guilty. I mean if TV was really that bad for you would it still be around like a 5000 years later & continue to get better with each year?

4. He could point & stare at the overweight people in the mall or the differently able. I will not stifle his sense of humor.

5. I would let him go naked in public if he desired.

6. Take toys from your daughter

7. Kick your son.

8. Scream in church.

9. Bite your baby

10. I will not raise him to be kind, gracious & modesty. My kid is a smart bad ass who is cute as hell. Exhibit A. And we will say so.

11. Offer him a wide range of beverages, that may also include hard liquors.

12. Substitute pacifiers for cigarettes

13. Go into your purse & take your cell phone because he liked the way the screen looked.

14. Walk into your house & make a sandwich

15. Throw rocks at your dog & car

16. And poop in your front lawn.

Want to join my new un-parenting movement?